Impure Thoughts
by brightspark
Summary: SeiferxSquallxLaguna. Laguna waited too long to tell Squall that he is his father, driving him away. Romantic pairing is SeiferxSquall, with Laguna a one time addition to the equation. POV, incest, slash, slight angst. Hiatus for lack of inspiration.
1. First cuts

Hey! Yeah, I'm starting a new fic while still working on "Disproving Guilt" -- just to get the creative juices flowing. That's my excuse, anyway. I don't know how long it's going to be, but not too short, judging by the amount of notes I have for it.

The pairing is actually what I'd call SeiferxSquall(xLaguna), with Squall and Seifer the romantic focus and Laguna a one time addition. Oh, um, and much mention of Laguna+Raine. Warnings? Incest, obviously, and yaoi/slash. Romance, a little angst, and hopefully smut if the muses allow. Though, of course, I shall point you to a link for the smut, rather than posting it here,

Erm, other notes... POV, as usual, but not exactly the same style as usual. The POVs will probably stick to Laguna, Squall or Seifer. :)

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Laguna POV**

Squall watched me as I finished the batch of paperwork piled high in front of me, rushing a little. I probably did more work in the few minutes he was watching me than I'd done all day so far. He made me feel uncomfortable then. I didn't know him then, and his stiff stance spoke to me of frosty annoyance and a distasteful, but necessary, political visit. It felt as if he didn't want to be there and he was making sure I knew it.

I didn't want it to be like that with my son, even though at that point, he didn't know that he is my son. I wanted to get on well with him, try and make up for the time when I haven't been a good father to him - or even a father at all.

He shifted, his leather pants creaking, and I looked up with what I fervently hoped was a friendly, apologetic smile. "Ah, I'm sorry, Squall; I'll be just a few more minutes."

He just nodded; silently watching me and making me work even faster, my signature getting steadily untidier as I worked down the page of boxes to check and lines to sign on faster than I ever had before – or, probably, since.

He shifted again, apparently as uncomfortable with hovering over me as I was with him there, biting his lip lightly. "I can go away and wait elsewhere if I'm disturbing you."

"What? Oh no, I'm done now, look!" I signed the last paper triumphantly, pushing it aside with a relieved sigh.

That sight made him smile one of his faint, barely there smiles, the edges of his mouth curling upwards the tiniest bit. I enjoyed the sight, something I hadn't seen before.

"Do you want anything? I can get you a drink, something to eat, whatever…" I trailed off, shrugging slightly. All my friendly advances just seemed to make him colder and more closed off, sapping any warmth from the atmosphere.

That was what time, training and war did to my son. At the time, I didn't know how I would ever find words to melt him a little towards me. I feared telling him the truth, because I didn't know what he'd do. I guess I was afraid that he would never speak to me again. And I was probably justified in that fear, too.

"I don't want anything."

He certainly didn't go in for the social niceties. It threw me off guard a little, so used to dealing with politicians who will skirt around a subject for hours to find a more diplomatic approach.

That's something I liked a lot about Squall, however ill at ease it made me feel. He forced things right to the point. But that day I hated him for it. I didn't want to go right to the point. I wanted to tell him the truth – that he is certainly my son – when I was good and ready, comfortable, when the words came easily to my tongue.

I would probably have waited until never for that to happen if it weren't for his stubborn indifference to all my suggestions.

"Well, do you want to go out for food, or shall I order something to be brought here? I always prefer to talk over a meal, it -"

"I'm not hungry, but if you want to get something, it's fine with me."

That frustrated me. He simply wasn't allowing me to make it easier on both of us. But probably his way was best. I might never have ended up telling him, and things could have been so different… but I did tell him. Eventually.

I was somewhat at a loss, though. "Oh, that's fine then… whatever you prefer…"

"I'd prefer to know why I needed to come here." He crossed his arms in front of his chest, his brown hair falling into his eyes.

If he hadn't been my son, I'd have said to hell with the age gap and jumped him right then and there. But he _is_ my son, and besides, I was too caught up with nerves and wondering what Raine would think of me (so afraid to tell our son that he is mine and admit to my bad parenting) to seriously contemplate such a thing at all. Raine knew very well that I am a man with so many faults, but the thing she never tolerated in me was skirting around my faults and laughing them all away.

For Raine, then, I decided.

"Actually, ah, it's not something really official, not Garden business, I mean. I need to talk to you about something more personal…"

He narrowed his eyes slightly, questioningly, but otherwise, he barely even twitched.

"As I said, I'm all for talking business in the office, but I'd prefer to have personal conversations somewhere more comfortable." I tried keeping up a cheerful grin, but it seemed that Squall was immune to it.

"You didn't say that, actually."

"Ah, well, I meant to say it. As I was saying, somewhere more comfortable…?"

"Whatever."

I took that as an okay. "I'd rather not go out to eat, I think, so I hope you don't mind eating here…"

An exaggerated sigh told me that he was more than willing to do whatever, as long as I got to the point. I was surprised he even reacted at all by that point.

With his eagerness to get things over with and my own nervousness, we were seated at a table soon enough. Kiros and Ward were within hearing, but talking quietly, I wouldn't be heard. They were the ones most insistent that I told Squall that I was his father. They were right, it was necessary, and it might have been for the best, but telling him didn't change anything really. Though… who knows what would have happened if I hadn't told him?

"Listen, Squall…" I paused. Having started, I had to go on, but I couldn't find the words, my tongue tangling around them. The only thing I was aware of, apart from the excruciating silence, was his eyes. God help me, but his eyes always are beautiful.

He just looked at me, making things worse, until I was trapped in his gaze and I couldn't get away. I squirmed in my seat a little. Raine looked at me like that, sometimes, but she never made me feel so uncomfortable. There was a look in his eyes that put me on edge as he watched me. "What?" he said, finally, splintering the silence for a moment.

I leaned back in my chair and shut my eyes to stop the uncomfortable feeling of meeting his eyes and being judged by him. It didn't stop me being uncomfortable one bit. His eyes were still there, an almost tangible touch.

"I have to tell you something."

"So tell me," he said, impatient with my side stepping.

It was then or never. I opened my mouth, shut it, and finally just blurted it out. "I'm your father."

"What?"

I opened my eyes and this time he was looking at me with honest, open-mouthed disbelief. I would have laughed at his reaction if I hadn't been so worried about his reaction, and I was tempted to make some kind of joke about it anyway to lighten the suddenly charged air. I reached out to put a hand on his, daring to reach across the gap that he always placed between us. "I know it's a shock. And I know you probably don't want to acknowledge it… I haven't been much of a father, or one at all really, but I wanted you to know, I thought… your mother would have wanted you to know."

He yanks his hand away from mine. "_You _are my father?"

It hurt. I knew that maybe he'd reject the idea, but still, the way he snatched himself away from me before I'd even had a chance… I knew I deserved it though.

"Yes."

"You can't be," he said, looking at me with his eyes burning. So very beautiful, and I remembered Raine's eyes holding that same spark. That thought burned, too.

"I _am_." I was off, by then. I had to speak, pour it all out, desperate not to lose my son before I ever got to even try to be a father. "Your mother was Raine – did you know that? I forget how much Ellone showed you, but you did see Raine, didn't you? She'd have been so proud of you, though I suppose if she was alive you wouldn't be a SeeD…"

"Stop it," he said harshly, standing up. "I don't want to hear it."

"Squall…"

"I don't know why you felt like telling me all of a sudden, but I'm not interested. I don't need some father I've never known, I don't need anyone."

"That's a lie. You need _someone_." My anger flared to match his. How dare he stand there, apparently indifferent, uncaring, and then flare up like that at the first hint that things aren't as he imagined?

"How _dare_ you speak to me as if you know me?"

I knew even then that his anger was a rare thing, something that happened so rarely that very few people could provoke him to it. But the look in his eyes that day struck right through my heart. My eyes blurred with tears and I blinked them away, not wanting to cry in front of him. Pure betrayal and hatred and anger; that's what I saw in his eyes at that moment.

He straightened, controlling himself, locking down on his rage as he locked down all his emotions. "I'll be leaving Esthar and returning to my duties at Balamb Garden early in the morning. Thank you for allowing me to stay here, President Loire." That said, he turned sharply on his heel and walked out of the room.

I lent over, resting my forehead against the cool of the table. I heard Kiros's steps behind me and I didn't move, didn't even flinch as his hand landed on my shoulder. "I think that reaction was to be expected," he said gently.

"I've fucked up badly, haven't I?"

He squeezed my shoulder, never a man of very many words. "He'll come round."

"I don't think he will ever really care about me as his father." I hated the waver in my voice, the tiny break, but I was never afraid of Kiros laughing at it. He was too much of a good friend to do that.

"You haven't really _been_ his father, from his point of view," he pointed out. "He never knew he even had a father alive."

"I understand why he reacted that way, and I wish I didn't," I said, bleakly.

Kiros only allowed me a few more moments of self pity before he gripped my shoulder a little tighter and released me. "You still have work to do."

"I know." I knew he was only trying to help, trying to keep me occupied. But it didn't stop me giving him a bitter look as I rose and headed to my office, intent on burying myself in work since he had suggested it.

"I'm sure he'll come round," he offered, repeating himself in a vain attempt to reassure me.

"I'm not."


	2. Falling apart just a little bit

This is one of those rare times when I let not a _hint_ of what I'm up to out to my friends. I'm adamant that even my dearest friends with a host of archangels can drag out of me the sekrit plot that I have planned out for this.

As you can tell, I'm quick with updating these fics. ;)

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**Seifer POV**

The car pulled into the car park and he got out, looking tired, rips in his clothes and patches of dried blood on his shirt betraying the fact that he'd been out training alone, probably somewhere far from Garden. No doubt he never even imagined that anyone was waiting for him, since Loire's lackey phoned Garden and told Quisty that the Commander would be back in Garden by noon that day.

It was past nightfall when I stood in the car park waiting. I wasn't worried, of course not. I just wondered where the hell he was.

I was there to annoy Quistis. Squall too, of course, but mainly Quistis. I overheard the phone call from Esthar as Squall's personal boot licker _tried_ to have a serious conversation with me, and then, eventually, she told me to report to the Commander when he got back, and just to piss him off and annoy her by being incredibly literal, I'd waited for most of the day to report to him the very minute he got back.

I'd been getting steadily more pissed off and steadily more inclined to annoy him as much as I possibly could when he got back.

But thoughts of annoying him faded as I took in his tired appearance. He must have been training very hard for the effects to show like that, and I knew then as I know now, he only trains so hard when he's upset or pissed off. I don't think I've ever seen him quite so tired. But he never does like showing people any weakness.

He leaned against the side of the car for a moment, eyes closed, apparently too fatigued to even think of the long walk to his room so soon. He noticed me standing in the shadow eventually, of course, but slower than usual.

His voice made me jump anyway, even though I saw him open his mouth before the sound came out. "Seifer. What do you want?"

"You're late," I offered him a small smirk, recovering.

He looked vaguely pissed off at that. He has a way of furrowing his eyebrows just a little bit; crinkling the scar I gave him, which makes him, to my eyes, look even sexier than usual. He had that expression on his face then, and I couldn't take my eyes off him. "Why do you think that?"

"Seagill, President Loire's guy, called. While I was in Quisty's office. Said you'd be back at noon." I didn't miss the way his face darkened a little at the name. I don't miss much about Squall.

"I see. Been misbehaving again?"

"You know I do it just to annoy you."

"Unfortunately, yes," he murmured, the troubled look not fading from his face. I leant back against the wall, taking the moment to just watch him, my eyes fixed on his face. He didn't notice, of course. I used to think he'd deliberately blocked himself from noticing when people flirted with him. That way, I though, he didn't have to deal with turning them down.

All to the good, I suppose. I got to stare at him, and he barely even acknowledged my presence. The first bit was good; the second bit was not so good, of course.

"So, what's bitten you?"

"A couple of bite bugs, some pissed off t-rexaurs, a funguar or three and lots of other monsters that I don't remember," he stated, a faint hint of a smile appearing on his face. In his own way, he liked to annoy me by being so damned literal. Still does. His sense of humour is dry and understated, but believe me, he has one.

"And apart from those? You're acting like a fourteen year old boy, just into puberty, who has just been dumped by his seventeen year old girlfriend who was way too cool for him in the first place."

He shrugged. "I'm just tired."

"You've been out training, of course you're tired, idiot." I snorted softly at him, shaking my head. "But something obviously pissed you off so you _went_ training. Otherwise you'd have been in your office again three seconds after you got back, working away like a good little boy."

"Shut up."

I put on a hurt expression. "Hey, no need to be like that, I'm only trying to help."

He huffed a soft sigh, shaking his hair out of his eyes. "And failing. I'm going to bed. I suppose you'll be in my office in the morning?"

"Of course. But I'm not done with you yet." I caught his arm, and surprisingly he didn't yank himself away instantly. I narrowed my eyes at him, turning him to face me more and stared down into his face. "What the fuck is wrong with you, Leonhart?"

It was good, at that moment, to think, 'at least he can't deny the way I'm looking at him now', though knowing him, he probably did anyway.

"Why do you care?"

Yup, he _is_ that clueless.

"I'm interested in what has got our little hero so twitchy."

"I'm not a hero."

"Sure, save the world and you're, what, nobody?" I rolled my eyes at him, and tightened my grip on his arm. "Out with it, Leonhart, just tell me. What's that they say, 'a problem shared is a problem halved' or some such shit."

"Fine," he hissed, and his eyes glowed luminous in the darkness, bright with his rare emotion. "I want to _fuck_ my _father_, okay?"

I stared at him, for once utterly speechless.

He used my shock to pull away from me, and headed for the exit and escape. But of course, I'm quicker than that and I pride myself on being able to act quickly in tricky situations.

"Let me get this straight," I said, hand on his shoulder to restrain him as I blocked the exit with my body. "You have a father." He nodded. "And you want to fuck him." He nodded again.

I looked at him, perfectly serious, for once not mocking at all. I only mocked him if I wanted to bring him out of his shell, or if I thought he could handle a little teasing. Right then, he looked just about to fall apart.

"Who is he?" I asked him softly.

His tone was a little bitter. "I thought you were more intelligent than that, Seifer. It's not hard to figure out. He even looks like me a little, if you think about it."

"President Loire?" I was incredulous. And yet, I saw in a split second how it all made sense. And my heart ached for him. He should have been glad to have a father, some connection to wherever he came from, but really, the fact just took away the only mother he'd ever known – Matron – and changed everything, not to mention taking away his chances of being with someone he'd allowed himself to think of in that way.

"Yeah."

Squall was ice, I never pretended he wasn't. But even ice can break. I knew that and I feared it, right then. I knew he was strong but surely… everyone has a breaking point, and looking at his face then, I was afraid he'd found his.

"So, what's the problem?"

He looked at me like I was insane. "He's my _father_."

"So? You didn't know that. It just means you can't do anything about how you feel now. I know it's hard, but you've got to move on." I couldn't find the words, all that I did find came out harshly, belittling whatever he might have felt.

I've never been good at handling Squall when he's upset. Seeing him upset puts my world off tilt, too used to seeing him as an emotional void, and then I never know _what_ to say, I just have to say _something_, anything to make things normal again.

He snorted softly, rolling his eyes. "And I'm supposed to live like that?"

"He isn't expecting you to act like his son all of a sudden, is he? I'm sure he'd give you time…" My words trailed off into nothing at the look on Squall's face.

"I acted horribly to him."

"So? Crap father he is if he can't accept that he turned your world upside down."

It surprised me then, how talkative Squall was when he was upset. But really, that night, I think he wanted any assurance that _someone_ didn't give a shit whether he wanted to fuck his own father or not. He probably thought I didn't give a shit about him at all. How wrong he was.

He shook it off after another moment, and pushed away from me, the moment and the brief closeness, as far as he was concerned, gone. "Get out of my way."

"You know," I said, slowly, partly to annoy him, partly to take my time in saying it. "You don't have bad taste in men. Your dad _is_ pretty hot, but I prefer the son. Men my own age are more my style, you know?"

I walked out, leaving him looking at me with widened eyes. I turned to look at him for just a moment, savouring those wide eyes and that open mouth, and then I smirked. "Good night, Commander."

I think that was one of the few times in my life when I completely and utterly shocked Squall. He should have known how unpredictable I am, really.

I walked away, heading into the darkened hallways of Garden, walking a little faster than I might usually. I didn't want Squall to confront me about what I'd said – at least not just then, not before we'd both had a good long think about it. I was having trouble believing I'd said it, actually.

I'd never really imagined telling him that I cared at all. It was something I never did. I never even told Fuujin and Raijin that I loved having them around, and they were my closest friends. There has only been one person closer to me than those two, in my whole life.

And I'd just told Squall that not only did I think his dad was hot, but I thought _he_ was hotter. I think I must have temporarily lost my mind that night. But I just shrugged it off. I'd always known I cared about Squall; so what if he knew?

I couldn't help but be a little apprehensive of what he might say the next time I stood before him for bad behaviour.


	3. Offer of comfort

Hey! Sorry it's been a while, I normally update a lot faster than this. Though there may well be another period where I don't update, my exams are coming up and much as I love writing, passing them is also important.

Hope you enjoy this chapter! It's very SeiferxSquall ish, which should make some people happy. :)

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**Squall POV**

I don't swear very often; I'm rarely emotional enough to truly let go and just curse the world, and I've never been very well versed in the art of cursing things well and truly, but that day, I was saying some words that I never even thought I knew.

Nothing went right, that day after the dinner with Laguna… my father. The word still feels odd now, not quite right, like a word I can't quite shape my mouth into. 'Dad' is even worse. I couldn't even begin to grasp all the meanings of the word 'father'. A father wasn't something _I_ had – being an orphan, alone, not needing anybody, was just as much a part of me as fighting or even breathing.

And what was more, one of the only people in the world I might, perhaps, have considered being close to, I immediately distanced myself from, because I couldn't have him the way I had wanted him. Because he was my father, thus making my feelings for him… whatever they were… impossible, illicit… wrong.

And the one other person I might have trusted had just made it completely impossible for me to run to him for what I needed.

And what did I need?

I needed a little conflict, a fight, something to let me get my frustration out. But I was afraid that the next time I saw Seifer I'd somehow be forced into admitting that I wanted to know more. He liked me more than my father, did he? Exactly how much liking was going on?

But in the end, I screwed up some courage and went asking for a fight.

I got one, of course; he's never turned down the chance to fight me. It was a dance that we loved dancing so much more than any twirling and fancy stepping on a dance floor during the SeeD balls. Neither of us liked that kind of dancing much.

Fighting was our dancing, and it was much more graceful and exhilarating. Ballroom dancing might be nice with an agreeable, skilled partner – but the same was easily said of duelling, and I've never known anyone more skilled than Seifer at offering me a challenge in battle.

It was when we stopped fighting that I felt uncomfortable again; all bad feelings lost in the adrenaline rush of a good duel.

"Feel better?" he asked, with _that_ smirk.

I just shrugged and didn't answer, wiping the sweat from my forehead.

He rolled his eyes and tapped his blade against his boot, looking thoughtful, not just going away like I wanted him to. Because neither of us would leave, even my tension eased a little.

Probably too much. The minute I allowed myself to focus on him, the fact that I had feelings for him, somewhere, and the fact that there was nobody else in the world I could possibly even consider being with came up to give me a good slap in the face.

And the fact that he was wonderfully, arrogantly, annoyingly attractive didn't pass me by, either.

"Why were you so pissed at the guy if you wanted to fuck him?"

The question jolted me out of staring at him, and I removed my eyes from his smug smile, knowing he knew I'd been looking at him and knowing, too, that he probably enjoyed every minute of it.

"He didn't tell me that he was my father."

"Why does that have anything to do with it?" He narrowed his eyes, trying to look into me, through me.

"He could have told me." I'm hoping to annoy him so much with my answers that he stops asking. I wish I'd never told him; it was something I should have kept to myself. Why the hell does he care, anyway?

"Squall…" he said, warningly, "Enough messing about. Give me the real fucking answer now."

"Why do you care?"

He rolled his eyes. "Fuck, thought that was obvious by now."

No, not really, not to my mind, not then.

He read that answer in my eyes and sighed heavily, reaching up a hand to cup my cheek. "Because, for whatever reason, I care about _you_, despite the fact that it goes against everything I've ever done to you."

I still don't know what drew me closer and closer to him then, until I was looking up into his face, the inches of difference in our heights putting me at a little disadvantage. "And you think I'm hot?"

"Yeah," he nodded, his hand not moving from my cheek and his eyes almost riveted to mine. "But that's -"

I kissed him.

I still don't know why I did that, either, just a vague feeling that I'm glad I did. It was the perfect moment, and despite the fact that we should probably have sat down and had a good chat about how screwed up a relationship between us would be, considering the fact that I wanted to fuck my father, before abandoning the whole stupid idea, it's been a good thing. For both of us, I hope, but I know it's been good for me.

In that moment of closeness, he asked again, and I had to explain myself. "Why are so angry at your father?"

"Because he should have told me when I first knew him or never." I thought that explanation was enough, but Seifer stared at me, willing me to tell him more. "I… guess I'm angrier at myself, for not knowing."

He made a soft, amused sound and I stepped quickly back, glaring at him.

"Princess," he said softly.

Before he could say any more my glare increased a notch in intensity and he smirked.

"Squall," he corrected, cupping my cheek again, "you're an idiot. You could have _something_ with the guy if only you admitted that everyone makes mistakes; you included. It was a mistake to treat him so coldly."

"I know what would end up happening if I was close to him."

"So you could actually rape someone?" He raised an eyebrow. And, with that, reminded me that while I might want someone, might kiss them if they're standing there asking for it, I wouldn't force anyone into something and if something shouldn't happen, it wouldn't happen.

He saw that thought in my eyes and his smile softened, waiting, waiting for me to speak. But I'd wait until hell froze over before I admitted he was right and I had over reacted like a stupid child.

Finally, he gave up, his hand on my cheek moving to push my hair behind my ear and cup the back of my head, drawing me closer to him so that he could kiss me. It was a deep kiss, an exploratory kiss, and every minute of it was pure bliss.

"Would you let me… comfort you?" he asked, his voice thicker than usual, his eyes mischievous with a promise that made shivers run up and down my spine.

"My room," I muttered, and he smirked, releasing me. After a moment, I realised he wanted me to lead the way, and I did, feeling a little apprehensive; not because I was about to get fucked, that was nothing. I'd been fucked before, but never by someone who mattered, never by someone who meant anything to me, and never by anyone who confused me like Seifer did.

I took my time walking to my bedroom, trying to evaluate this properly; decide what might happen because of it. I couldn't concentrate properly, with him walking just behind me, knowing what was going to happen. That bothered me; I'd never lost my cool before, unless it was in a fight.

In the end, I just decided to go for it.

It wasn't slow, it wasn't making love; we were going to fuck and the hurried pace to it said that clearly. I had my own shirt off in seconds and was undoing my pants almost before he'd shut the door. He was slower about it, his shirt on the floor moments after I'd sat down, naked on the bed to watch him strip.

Once naked, he took a step toward me, his smirk feral, like a hunting cat's. "I'm going to fuck you so hard you forget the guy entirely," he promised, smirking, from where he stood at the edge of the bed and then he pounced, pushing me backwards.

He was all over me, his hands, his mouth, demanding and giving and taking and leaving me senseless under his hands. It was ecstasy, and I hated every minute of it as much as I loved it, defenceless to what he was doing to me as I had never been defenceless to him before. And then…

He stopped, sitting up, and I sat up as well, fixing him with a puzzled, angry glare. Why did he stop?

He shook his head at me, "Squall, I'm sorry, but I don't fuck someone who doesn't want it."

I raised an eyebrow.

"I mean, you obviously want it, physically, but in your head, I'm nothing but a substitute for your father. And I don't fuck people who are imagining someone else in my place." There was a dark look in his eyes; hurt? Or maybe just annoyed, I'd never known Seifer to be really… _hurt_.

But then, I'd never seen that look in his eyes before.

I didn't know how to tell him that it wasn't just Laguna – my father – I wanted, it was him as well. I didn't know how to tell him about all the little daydreams I might have had about him, I didn't know how to ask him to stay and fuck me even though I would be thinking about my father at the same time.

"Stay," I managed, softly, the only thing that would come out of my mouth as he got off the bed and reached for his pants.

He looked down at me, on the bed, still naked, still defenceless, and maybe he saw some of what I meant to say in my eyes. He sat down on the edge of the bed and said, warningly, "I won't fuck you."

I huffed, quietly, a tiny smile on my face, "Of course not, since you're suddenly Mr Sensitive. But you could at least stay and… help me, since you've got me here."

I couldn't believe I was actually _asking_ him to stay, but the thought of being alone again was not a pleasant one at all and besides, I was fucking horny and it was entirely his fault.

He dropped his pants to the floor and lay down beside me, his hands on me again a pleasant, intoxicating warmth. "I can do that, princess."


	4. Revelations

Hey, everyone! Sorry it's been so infernally long since I updated this. First exams, then a bit of writers block...

I think I'll be quicker to update from now, though I can't promise anything. Specially not anything this week, since my dear heart, iliyana, will be here in the UK and staying at my house. (You can tell how happy I am about all this.)

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**Laguna POV**

"Someone to see you, sir," my secretary said, sticking her head around the door. I looked up and found a smile for her.

"Yes? Who is it?"

"He just says he's a friend of your son's, sir," she said, smiling back so that dimples appeared in her cheeks. I was glad she was a cheerful soul, most other secretaries gave up on me within a few months. "Shall I send him in or send him away?"

A friend of Squall's. Introducing himself as a friend of _my son's_? Then... someone close to Squall. Sent by Squall? It's been a month or so, maybe a little less, since that almost disastrous talk with him. And I haven't been able to stop thinking of it, and him, since. "Send him in," I said, and tried not to sound as hopeful as I felt. Maybe...?

I was quite unprepared for the young man who strolled in, almost as if he owned the place. "Name's Seifer Almasy, but I'm sure you know that," he said, smirking a little at my surprise, "Don't worry, I'm not here to cause havoc."

I was glad I was sitting down. "What are you here for, then?"

For once, I didn't try to finish what I was doing when he came in. I knew practically nothing about this man, but looking at him, I knew it wouldn't be a good idea to keep him waiting. He looked even less patient than Squall and a thousand times more likely to mention it.

"First things first. I'm in love with your son."

I blinked. "Shouldn't you...?"

"Be telling _him_ that? Yeah, but I've got a feeling he knows already, or at least has a clue. Although he's clueless enough..." he shrugged it off. "Anyway. I'm here on Squall's behalf, but he doesn't know I'm here, so I'd appreciate it if you never let him know this. I got Quistis to come up with a mission for me in this area and, well, here I am."

I nodded. "I have a feeling you'd get into trouble with Squall if he knew you were here, right?"

"Perceptive of you, old man. Can I have a seat?" I nodded and he sat, sprawling in the chair as if he owned the place. "A drink would help, too," he suggested. I shook my head at that. We've got nothing but coffee here and _no way_ is anyone else having my coffee. It's reserved for times of crisis – for example, when Kiros actually asks me to _work_.

"What are you here for?"

He smirked, green eyes intent on me, making me squirm a little in my seat. "Hmm, funny, from what the princess said, I expected some old geezer rambling on all the time, but you're pretty quiet. Or are you stunned into silence?"

"I assume by 'the princess' you mean Squall?"

"Right. Squall."

"He... thinks I ramble?" I raised an eyebrow, and then another fact came up to slap me in the face. "He talks to you about me?"

"Just a little. See, that's one of the reasons why I'm here." He leaned forward in his seat, that smirk on his face that I find irritating and that I think, from the little I know of him, would get under Squall's skin like nothing else on earth. "I'm his lover, sort of, and I'm a little tired of his moping since he came to see you."

"He's moping?"

Damn it. This guy threw me completely off balance, and looking at the rather smug expression on his face, I think he knew it. I couldn't ramble on at him and keep talking, because there was really nothing to say. He already said it, took all the questions I might have and answered them before I could ask. He'd be a formidable politician, if only because he could intimidate his opponents. If he was really my son's lover, I could see the attraction, certainly. There was something almost magnetic about his eyes, vibrant and very much alive. I think he was enjoying the visit, too.

"He's pissed."

"At me? I know that it was kind of sudden, but I really had to tell him, you know? I couldn't keep it secret from him forever, whatever... however much telling him about it pained me. I know he probably thinks I deserted him, doesn't he? I have reasons -"

"Shit, can't get him to talk, can't get you to shut up." The young man... Seifer rolled his eyes at me, leaning back again and crossing his arms. "Are you really his father? Or are you just trying to get close to him and bind Esthar and Balamb Garden together politically and all that crap?"

"I'm really his father," I said, a little insulted.

"Damn. If you weren't, it'd make this so much easier," he sighed.

"Do you really love Squall?" I asked, since he was letting me speak, and he nodded.

"Yes. Very much. And... you know I'm only telling you this because I care for Squall and I want to help him, right?" At my nod, he continued. "Good, 'cause I don't normally say all this shit, even to him. I know him real well, _real_ well. I was his rival before most people in Garden had figured out how to hold their weapons. I learnt to read him, to tell what he's feeling and so on. And he's really, really hurt right now."

"Hurt?"

"Hurt," he confirmed with a nod. "See, he doesn't think of you as a father -"

"I wouldn't expect him to," I said, quickly, "I mean, he only knows me through, what, a handful of dreams and a few talks over the top of a desk? It's not like we've ever had _chance_ to be father and son..."

"Will you let me finish?"

Abashed, I nodded.

"He doesn't think of you as a father," he said, slowly, drawing out the words, leaning back so he could better fix me with his green eyed stare. "He doesn't even think of you as the president of Esthar, really. See, in between dreaming of you and really meeting you and sometime after the war when he had time to have one of his internal monologues, he figured something out."

I had a feeling that Seifer was _really_ enjoying this. It probably wasn't every day someone let him take utter control of a situation in quite this way. But... if it was about Squall, I was prepared to listen. I wanted to fix things up with him, form some kind of relationship.

"He wants to fuck you."

The blunt statement took a moment to sink in. When it did, I found myself just blinking and staring at the young man, speechless.

"More accurately, he wants to fuck you before, during or after me fucking him," he said, his smirk broadening at the look on my face. "See, I got close to him recently – mostly thanks to his frustration and bitchiness after your little announcement, and we've shared some of our fantasies, you know, like you do."

I didn't know and I hadn't done, but I let that go. "He... wants to fuck me?"

The words had never felt so strange in my mouth.

"Yes," he rolled his eyes, "he wants to fuck you. And when he found out you're his father, you just made all his fantasies not only impossible, but also sick and a little weird, you know?"

At least that helped me understand why he had reacted so angrily to my little announcement. It made quite a lot of sense, all of a sudden. He didn't want me to really be his father because that made what he'd hoped for, maybe even longed for, impossible.

"Why are you telling me this?" I managed to ask.

"See, I'm kinda reluctant to ask this because I'm a possessive guy, but..." The infuriating young man smirked at me, "I want you to help me give him what he wants."


End file.
